Nervous to meet boyfriends mom
For some reason most of us seem to think of the moment we 'meet the parents' as the legit scariest thing you have to do as an adult human. But it really doesn't have to be. It's rare for a family to set out to meet their child's partner with the intention of hating them. The most important thing is to just be yourself. Plus, once the first meeting it out of the way, it only gets easier. Try as hard as you can to relax, writer and relationship expert Sylvia Smith suggests.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Meeting My Boyfriend's Parents and Family 101 - Brittany Daniel
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 5 Stages of Meeting Your Boyfriend's Parents for the First Time [5TAGES]Content:
- 17 Mistakes to Avoid When Meeting His Family
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- The potential stresses of meeting your partner’s parents and how to solve them
- 10 Things to Do When You Meet the Parents
- Meeting the Parents? 8 Ways to Keep It From Being Awkward
- 11 Tips For Introducing Your SO To Your Family In A Way That Makes Everyone Comfortable
17 Mistakes to Avoid When Meeting His Family
The rules of dating are so silly. Just trying to keep them straight can be overwhelming. But no manual could prepare you for this. Heck, you are just getting comfortable with how well you know him and are getting along and then he springs this on you. At the end of the day, they want him to be happy so if you do that for him, these comparisons will dull in comparison to your shining personality. They probably will be pleasant, friendly and welcoming, because they want to set a good first impression just as much as you do.
First impressions are quite powerful. That being said and all secret comparisons aside, they will either love or hate you instantly. There is no in between. If they hate you, well, you may not get an invitation to Christmas dinner and if they love you, his mother will start picking out the church for your wedding.
A lot of things can help contribute to their feelings about you: from wardrobe, to arriving on time and seeing the way their son acts like a love-struck moron around you.
Even though they might decide that they hate you, it is possible that you can amend that situation— sometimes. It just takes time and a lot of effort. There will certainly be some mothers who think you are not even remotely close enough to being good enough for their son and no amount of feeding starving orphans or adopting puppies can change that. Sometimes, like in rom-coms, you end up marrying the guy and his mom will continue to hate you for all eternity.
But if they dislike you for something else, like breaking a vase or showing up late, those things can be fixed with some buttering up. Lots of it. And babies. Most mothers will forgive you if you lie on your back and given them piles of grandchildren. And if all else fails, just be ridiculously nice to the woman who hates you and she will look like the mean one — not you.
His mother will stare so much and she will see everything. You look vulnerable and you look real. Parents like real. They want to see what their son saw in you, they want to picture you in a wedding dress, and they want to fantasize about what your children are going to look like. Embrace the stares. They will ask about your family and it will be for a few reasons: one, to carry on conversation; two, to learn about your background and upbringing; and three, to find out what your family financial situation is like because they are already thinking about your wedding — IF they like you.
They also are probably making comparisons between yours and their own crazy little famjam. Be honest with them but remember, you are not obligated to tell them family secrets.
What do you want to do with your life? What do you do now? Do you like your job? Do you have any big dreams? How old are you? How many kids do you want? Your age is important as his mother remembers all too well the idea of your biological clock ticking. Remember how they will either love you or hate you? If they love you, they will be happy, smiling, enthusiastic and huggy with you when you leave that evening.
They say that mothers-in-law are a big reason for some marriages ending in divorce. They will instantly know upon meeting you how much research you did. Or if he picked you up at the local pub and begged you to come to the family event so people would stop asking him when he was finally going to go get a girlfriend.
Regardless of how old his parents are, they are still older and from a different generation than you. Call it culture shock or generation gap, but in their day , things like manners, showing up with flowers or being on time were expected of new partners in new relationships. It will immediately make you look disorganized and unreliable. The last thing they want is their son to be involved with someone disorganized and unreliable.
Anything that can — and will — go wrong will be blamed entirely on you because their perfect angel son could do no wrong. How much do you swoon when your boyfriend surprises you with concert tickets? How about that date you went on with the magician where he pulled a bouquet of really nice flowers out of his sleeve, along with a fluffy, white bunny? That was pretty magical , right? Ok, you can stop rolling your eyes now.
The answer is probably quite a bit and his parents are no different. Having the chance to finally meet the girl their son is seeing is an event in and of itself. No one is telling you to suck up but small gifts like a bottle of wine to go with dinner or homemade cookies really do wonders with maximizing your first impression on them. It makes you look fantastic and does a great job of making them feel appreciated by a stranger, who could one day be their daughter-in-law.
A little hand-holding is okay, or a quick gentlemanly hand kiss, but any actual facial contact is not gunna fly.
Save it for your wedding day — that one, they will tolerate. All families have drama. They may even ask you for yours, as a test, or because they genuinely want to know what you think. As strange as their family stories or fights may sound, just remember, blood is thicker than water and they will always back each other before they back you.
Just listen, or tune it out. Hard as you might try, you will never forget the mortifying fact that your parents have had sex only once obviously and you were the outcome. Your younger brother was obviously adopted or dropped off by the stork.
For his parents, this takes a whole new meaning. They, especially his mother, want to be doing his laundry and giving him life advice. You have a few options in this case. You can either do your best to make sure something exciting, funny or awful happens on the way so you have something to say, or you can make it up and pre-rehearse something with him. Either way, figure out how you plan on answering that question.
They say you should never ever EVER try to take initiative and do things for her in the kitchen without asking her first. That is her home — her domain — and she will see it as threatening if you just swoop in and try to take over. That being said, she is happy to take your help, once you offer.
In fact, she wants to basically force you to help her, without having to say a word. She wants to have some girl-talk with you. On top of that, she probably wants to retain a little bit of control since arguably you are more influential to her son than her now. Deep breath — you got this.
I am a freelance copywriter jumpingelephant. Top lists are my jam, as are relationship blogs. I have written for everything from advertising agencies to insurance brokers, dating sites to skincare companies. All I need in life are my laptop, my puppy, and my passport But until then, I'll just keep up the primary research for my blogs.
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United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. According to a new report, Robert Pattinson's parents aren't exactly crazy about Kristen Stewart. Sure, that whole cheating scandal might have something to do with it, but sometimes the 'rents can be judgy for no reason.
I farted…too hard. The mother was behind me…and the rest is history. We told them it was a rugby injury. There was a huge thunderstorm with torrential rain and everyone ran indoors. Boyfriend now husband had to cover me in a tarpaulin from the shed rather than drag me up the garden.
The potential stresses of meeting your partner’s parents and how to solve them
10 Things to Do When You Meet the Parents
You may have been in your relationship only a few weeks or maybe many months or years. Maybe you know loads about them or very little. And that the meeting goes as smoothly as possible.
Meeting the Parents? 8 Ways to Keep It From Being Awkward
Remember when Ben Stiller met his girlfriend's family for the first time in Meet the Parents? Although the chances of something that disastrous happening in real life are slim, first encounters with your guy's family can still be horribly scary. Before you shake hands, commit these DON'Ts to memory—they're straight from family members who've been there. She was trying to hide it under the table and pretend she was listening to our conversation, but it was obvious she had more important' people to converse with.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: "How To Meet Your Boyfriend's Family" by Dating Expert Matthew Hussey
Most firsts in a relationship are pretty great — the first date, the first kiss, the first time admitting that you're both in love. But there are a few that aren't so great. Right at the top of that list is introducing your partner to your parents. While those other moments are an exhilarating mixture of excitement and nerves, meeting the fam can feel percent scary. Now, not everyone thinks this way. I have a few intrepid friends who brought their SO home , all without a touch of nerves.
11 Tips For Introducing Your SO To Your Family In A Way That Makes Everyone Comfortable
But, no. I'm actually an acutely raven-haired, snow-white, pale-skinned, hyperactive mascara lesbian, all big anxious eyes, caffeine-shaky lips and nerves. Nah, girl. It's a boring Tuesday in lower Manhattan. I'm just feeling things because I don't know how to not feel things.
Get to know his mom. Like, seriously. Take an interest, but be honest with yourself. You should NOT interfere with their relationship, because it will only backfire.
The rules of dating are so silly. Just trying to keep them straight can be overwhelming. But no manual could prepare you for this. Heck, you are just getting comfortable with how well you know him and are getting along and then he springs this on you.