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I get jealous when my girlfriend hangs out with her friends

There are dozens of things that easily make us indiscriminately jealous and wake up a dormant caveman inside us. The reasons can various. Thus, if you are insecure about another guy, you need to know that you are not the only one who faces such a problem. My girlfriend used to hang out with her male friend once or twice a month for about a year. Not even close! I simply told my girlfriend about my feelings on that matter.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dealing With Jealousy

Content:

Is jealousy a sign of love?

FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. My GF works with people around her and my age, so she makes a lot of friends through her job. One of these is a guy, Dan let's call him, who she'll occasionally get lunch or see a movie with, or hang out with as part of a group of people. I ought to be fine with this and I know it, but I'm not.

I have what might be either legitimate reasons or strained justifications for this. I have no issues with her hanging out with our mutual friends who are guys. A big part of my problem is that I don't know Dan at all, and my GF seems embarrassed by the possibility that I tag along with her and her work friends when they do things.

That's normally fine since she's more social than I am to begin with, but now it just leaves me paranoid about Dan and his intentions, because I have no idea what kind of person he is. My girlfriend defends him when I mention this, which really only makes me feel weirder. I trust my girlfriend completely when she says she's not interested in anyone else, but she's been too nice to recognize people being interested in her in the past.

I also keep going back, in my head, to a situation where Dan tried to set up his friend with my girlfriend despite knowing she was in a relationship with me I'd met Dan several times, but never for more than a minute or two, and it's not a secret my GF and I are dating. She turned Dan's friend down and that was that, but I hate thinking of my GF hanging out alone with a guy who clearly doesn't care that she's in a relationship.

I feel weird anxious, paranoid when they hang out, and then I feel guilty for feeling weird, but I can't seem to get over it, even being rationally aware that I have nothing to be afraid of. It's very hard to bring up with my girlfriend without an argument, because we seem to have different standards: I think I would feel like I was doing something wrong if I had the same relationship with a female friend, and I honestly don't know if my girlfriend would mind or not. So what do I do?

You feel weird because your gf is being pretty nonchalant where "Dan" and his intentions are concerned. Dan tried to set up his friend with my girlfriend despite knowing she was in a relationship with me I can see why for the sake of work politics she might not want to make a big deal about this, but that doesn't explain why she wants to totally deny that this guy has disrespected both of you.

Talk to her again about this issue. It's a small thing that can become a deal breaker down the road if it turns into a pattern. Good luck. There are several possible scenarios: Let's say you tell your girlfriend you don't want her hanging out with Dan. She's going to be upset, regardless of whether or not she ever had any intentions of taking it further with him, and she's either going to start lying about having lunch with him, or be resentful towards you.

Let's say you don't restrict her and her intentions are pure. Regardless of Dan's intentions, nothing happens because your gf does not want that. Now for the worst case scenario: let's say her intentions are NOT pure and neither are his. No restrictions you place on her will make any difference at all because she is not interested in being faithful. Clearly the only rational answer is not to restrict her. You keep a happy girlfriend, and que sera sera.

Your feelings are your feelings, and you are not bad or wrong for simply having them. Don't pile guilt on top of something you already feel badly about.

Accept that you feel jealousy over this. But don't act on it. She will either be trustworthy or she won't. This is my favorite comment ever on trust and betrayal. To quote it: "You can't protect yourself from betrayal by being distrustful. Distrust not only sucks for you, it actually makes betrayal more likely. I also keep going back, in my head, to a situation where Dan tried to set up his friend with my girlfriend despite knowing she was in a relationship with me The guy totally dissed you.

It would be surprising if you weren't annoyed that your girlfriend was hanging out with him. I think you're going to have to accept that you feel weird about the situation, but I would recommend that you skip the guilt. Usually in these kinds of situations, you have a good reason for thinking that things aren't right, and the fact that she's spending all her time hanging out with this douche-y guy is probably not the main problem.

Let's break this into smaller pieces: I have no idea what kind of person he is This is easier to solve. Why not just talk to Dan himself? But this isn't really the problem. More difficult is: she's been too nice to recognize people being interested in her in the past You have problems trusting your girlfriend's judgment, which may or may not be justified, and I think I would feel like I was doing something wrong if I had the same relationship with a female friend, and I honestly don't know if my girlfriend would mind or not.

Assume the answer is, "no, she would not mind". How do you feel then? Your response will help you figure out where you want to take this relationship. I would talk to her about it and ask how she would feel if the situation were reversed - if you had a friend who ignored your relationship and kept trying to set you up with other people. If she dismisses it or says that she would be fine with it or does anything that invalidates your feelings, at least you know the kind of girl you're dealing with.

You want to be with someone who places you as a priority over her jerky friends. If even after a clear conversation, she is still choosing her male friend, regardless of the excuse she gives, there's your answer. I don't think you're jealous or over reacting. I think it's about basic respect. Acting as her keeper and insisting to always go out is bad, but meeting the coworkers once in a while and proving you are a real entity is a great way to defuse these tensions and nip any drama in the bud.

She is being weird and should not be embarrassed about you tagging along unless it's obviously a work bitchfest or a bachelorette party. If you're dating someone and you're not itching to show them off to your friends, I'd say something is amiss. I'm a straight guy who has more female friends than male ones. I know this is unusual, so I always make an effort to introduce new girlfriends to my friends early on.

This is for two reasons. One, it diffuses tension when it's clear that there is no secret tomfoolery going on. Two, these are all people who are important to me-- why would I not want them to get to know each other? I get your girlfriend thinking it would be weird for you to tag along consistently, but she should be ok with you hanging out with these people once, especially if it would put your mind at ease.

Tell her that you know it's probably unnecessary, but that you would feel better if you could meet this guy, and you'd like to do that by hanging out with her work friends just once. Frame it that way - not that she's doing anything wrong, but that it would just make you feel better, rational or not.

Then you can figure things out once you've met him. Or she refuses, in which case you should think carefully about whether your girlfriend is respecting your needs in this relationship. Could you and your girlfriend make an effort to help you and Dan get to know each other? If she doesn't want you tagging along when it's just her and her work friends, could you guys invite him and some other work friends along when you have a party, or some other social thing where you and they would both be non-awkwardly present?

Getting to know the guy better and seeing him and your girlfriend interact might help assuage your discomfort with not knowing enough about this dude and his friendship with your GF. If this dude meets you and actually interacts with you and sees that you are a real person and not just "GF's boyfriend" perhaps he'll have a little more respect for your relationship.

Also, it does seem sort of weird that she's "embarrassed" by the prospect of you meeting her work friends. If they're all painfully cool and you're cheerfully nerdy, or whatever, "embarrassed" could make sense but isn't exactly a stellar way for a girlfriend to treat you. She is being weird and should not be embarrassed about you tagging along unless it's obviously a work bitchfest or a bachelorette party In general I agree with this, but just to give her the benefit of the doubt Or maybe he's a ranter or some other thing that doesn't work in that crowd.

It's still weird, though. I trust my girlfriend completely Then do that. Renault at PM on April 18, [ 6 favorites ].

How early in the relationship was it when he tried to set her up with his friend? Doesn't this make you wonder whether this relationship is worth pursuing? You have strong reasons for being uncomfortable about "Dan. Why do you think this relationship with her is worth pursuing when she's clearly valuing a weird friendship with Dan over your comfort. You know, I enjoy hanging out with one of my friends with whom there is just a teeny tiny ghost of attraction.

We're never going to act on it, we're not actually well suited, I love my partner more than anything and it's only a teeny tiny little wisp of "gee I think you're cute and funny and it's nice to get lunch and be my date-y fancy funny self". It's not an emotional affair, and I wouldn't care if friend started dating someone for real again, and friend isn't hung up on me or anything horrible like that.

It's just a chance to feel A chance to have a miniature, fake date with a fun person. I don't especially want my partner along on these lunches, not because I can't be trusted but because the lunches are a chance to be myself-alone, myself-without-partner. And that part of me still exists, no matter how much I love my partner and no matter how much I would never in a million years even think of cheating. I think that even if your girlfriend is getting a tiny little thrill from occasional lunches with her friend, you should relax.

She's dating you, she's spending the vast bulk of her time with you, she's upfront about these lunches or whatever they are. If you get some kind of sense that her friend is seriously pursuing her, that's a problem--both because it's not good for your relationship and it's not a fair thing for her to do to him, para-dating when she's not really interested. But otherwise, just let it go. A little autonomy in a relationship is a good thing. To devil's advocate a bit: I feel like it's legit for your girlfriend to not want you hanging out with her and her work friends all the time even though inviting you occasionally would be nice!

I female have a male coworker I hang out with a lot and it's always sort of weird when we have one of our significant others there, just because our work-friend dynamic is different from our relationship ones.

I am really good friends with this guy but it absolutely doesn't mean I would rather date him than my boyfriend. It also may be important for your girlfriend to maintain a good friendship with Dan because she has to deal with him every day.

How To React If She Is Hanging Out With Other Guys

FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. My GF works with people around her and my age, so she makes a lot of friends through her job. One of these is a guy, Dan let's call him, who she'll occasionally get lunch or see a movie with, or hang out with as part of a group of people.

Do you feel jealous when your girlfriend hangs out with her male friends? Do you feel insecure when she interacts with her hot boss at work?

The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. My girlfriend keeps hanging out with this one male friend. When we first started dating me she assured me that she didn't see this guy that way and that he didn't see her that way. It was nothing to worry about.

How to Stop Being Jealous When my Girlfriend Is Talking To Other Guys

If she is untrustworthy and has been openly flirting with other guys in front of you lately, then she may end up giving out her phone number, kissing a guy or even sleeping with him if she goes out alone with her friends. Women are naturally attracted to and respectful of men who are confident and secure in who their attractiveness to women. Before you talk to your girlfriend about the possibility of her going out without you around, ask yourself the following questions…. Is she an honest, loyal trustworthy woman, or have you caught her lying to you many times before? You can never fully trust a woman in a relationship, but if you want the relationship to mature and reach its true potential, then you just have to give her your full trust. Could it be because you feel lucky to have scored with her and you doubt your ability to get another even better girlfriend than her? However, if she wants to go out and get wasted with her single girlfriends, then you have a valid reason to begin worrying that she might be thinking of straying. Is she going out alone with her friends all the time, or is it an occasional thing? There is nothing wrong with that and in fact, it can be good for you and your girlfriend to maintain some separate interests and relationships to keep a healthy balance in your life. This is why, if your girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends occasionally, you should actually encourage her to do so.

12 Ways to Stop being a Jealous Boyfriend

November 16, 14 Comments. He wants us to spend all our spare time together and gets mad if I hang out with my friends. If I talk to other guys he gets furious. This behaviour is a sign of control, not love.

Being dependent on you to be happy or entertained. That is the calling card of a needy, insecure and possibly crazy piece of baggage.

Jealousy makes is hard for any relationship. Nevertheless, it is worth making an effort to control it because it can become an obsession. Jealousy usually exists when we feel that somebody is superior to us.

Why do I get jealous when my girlfriend goes out to hang out with her girlfriends?

A common question we get asked is: Is it okay to let your girlfriend have guy friends? If your girlfriend is a woman of good character who is loyal and trustworthy, then okay. Having friends, both female and male, outside the relationship is quite normal and common for many couples.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What To Do If Your Girlfriend Has A LOT of Guy Friends

However, even the process of writing it might help me to get over my problem. I have been going out with a girl for a while now, and we love each other. I have had previous long-term partners. But this one feels different, and things are progressing quickly. While I have had a number of sexual experiences, some good and others not so good, I never meet up with the women I slept with. But my girlfriend is friends with different groups of guys, some of whom she has slept with.

Is It Okay If She Hangs Out With Another Man?

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Jun 10, - So whenever my girlfriend goes and hangs out with other guys on her own, I get VERY I get jealous and paranoid to the point where she can tell I am acting Do you honestly believe that her hanging out with guy "friends".

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Comments: 1
  1. Fenrilkis

    I congratulate, the remarkable message

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