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How to love your girlfriend unconditionally

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The idea of unconditional love in relationships is a noble one. Each of us wants to be loved as we are, without conditions, and to see ourselves as capable of bestowing unconditional love on our partners. However, this type of love, in its narrowest definition, is difficult, if not impossible. Part of the problem with unconditional love in relationships is the lack of understanding of what it means. Most of us will think of a parent's love for a child, or a child's love for a parent, as unconditional love. This type of love depends on nothing other than the familial bond and doesn't break down based on what the child or parent does—at least in an ideal scenario.

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What Is Unconditional Love?

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The idea of unconditional love in relationships is a noble one. Each of us wants to be loved as we are, without conditions, and to see ourselves as capable of bestowing unconditional love on our partners.

However, this type of love, in its narrowest definition, is difficult, if not impossible. Part of the problem with unconditional love in relationships is the lack of understanding of what it means.

Most of us will think of a parent's love for a child, or a child's love for a parent, as unconditional love. This type of love depends on nothing other than the familial bond and doesn't break down based on what the child or parent does—at least in an ideal scenario. In the purest sense, unconditional love is about caring about the happiness of another person without any concern for how it benefits you.

Research tells us that the parts of the brain that light up during unconditional love are similar to those involved in romantic love and maternal love, and are linked to the brain's reward system. This suggests that unconditional love may be rewarding without receiving anything in return.

The question becomes whether adults in relationships can also show each other this type of unconditional love. To feel safe in a relationship, it makes sense that you need to feel as though the other person is not going to abandon you based on a whim.

You need to know that person is committed to loving you unconditionally no matter what the future brings. The problem is that this definition in romantic relationships can break down under numerous conditions and for good reason. As much as you might love an alcoholic , a liar, or a cheater unconditionally, this isn't healthy for you as a person. This means the definition of unconditional love in romantic relationships needs to be expanded a bit.

For love to continue, there must be mutual respect, not an attitude of your partner that "you will put up with me, no matter what I do. This brings us to the topic of unconditional positive regard , probably a closer approximation of what we mean by unconditional love in relationships.

In this sense, unconditional love doesn't mean always giving people what they want or always accepting what they do, at the expense of your own needs.

Instead, it is a mature type of love that means treating the other person with love and respect, even while maintaining your boundaries and protecting yourself. Whereas the immature version of unconditional love would have you feeling as though you must be everything to the other person, the mature version has you recognize that your only obligation, in the face of the other's behavior, is to communicate your message with love and respect.

This means being attentive and attuned, even while you are setting limits and boundaries. It also means honoring the requests of others when you are able to do so without harming yourself.

It means not being harsh or dismissive, as this does not lead to compromise or solutions. At its core, this is assertiveness —letting the other person know where you stand so that together you can work out the best outcome for the two of you together. When we think about how to go about loving someone unconditionally in a relationship, the following points emerge:.

We are programmed in life to have conditional love. You love your husband because of his unique traits and qualities that attracted you to him. It's why you love him and not another man. The question becomes, if he changes, at what point is love withdrawn? True mature love should come with no strings attached. It is a behavior, rather than a feeling, a point of confusion that can lead to the breakdown of romantic relationships. The satisfaction of unconditional love should come from the act of giving it to the other person, not from what you receive in return.

If we think about unconditional love as the "expression of our kindest self," it can be maintained even if a relationship does not survive. You might know couples who still love each other but are no longer together.

If a relationship is hurting you more than it is good to you, it is okay to feel unconditional love but let the relationship go. Unconditional love is basic goodness and the total acceptance of someone, but it does not mean tolerating abuse, neglect, or other deal breakers. What about the less clear area of falling out of love with someone? If you still show them unconditional love, you will find a way to kindly and gently end the relationship.

In essence, when we first fall in love, it's in an unconditional state, and we can't ever imagine not feeling this way about the other person. But we live in a conditional world, and relationships do end. We all have different tastes and needs, and these can change over time. One thing is certain; relationships that are completely lacking in unconditional love are unlikely to succeed.

Beliefs and lifestyle are likely to change over time, and if you aren't willing to see your partner go through changes, this could spell the end for the two of you. You can be more to your partner when you offer unconditional love in the mature sense. One way to tap into this is to be mindful of the present moment.

If you struggle with this, consider practicing mindfulness meditation. This will help you slow down and become aware of your relationship needs. It can also be helpful to learn how to show yourself the same unconditional love that you are trying to show to your partner. If you don't show it to yourself, you might be looking for too much from your partner—looking for him or her to prop you up. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.

The Neural Basis of Unconditional Love. Psychiatry Res. More in Relationships. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Hales SD. The Impossibility of Unconditional Love.

Pub Aff Quart. Saybrook University. Unconditional Love. Related Articles. The Different Types of Open Relationships. What Is Unrequited Love? Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships? Are You In a Healthy Relationship? How to Successfully Crack the Code of Love. Triangular Theory and the 7 Types of Love. Verywell Mind uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience.

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7 Signs Your Partner Loves You Unconditionally

To define unconditional love is to say that a person loves someone unselfishly, that he or she cares about the happiness of the other person and will do anything to help that person feel happiness without expecting anything in return. In other words, the definition of unconditional love is "love without conditions. To put an unconditional love definition another way, this is the type of love that exists between a parent and child, or even between a dog and his master. It is a love that is given without expecting or even really caring if that love is returned. You love this person wholeheartedly, and nothing is going to change that.

Unconditional love is a weighty term for something that most of us don't really understand. In my work as a marriage therapist, I've found it's often used to express a type of love that exists beyond bounds. And because of this, it often creates a justification for staying in unhealthy dynamics.

The early stages of a relationship are known for being fun and carefree. After all, why stress yourself out when you're still getting to know someone? But if things are going well and you're looking to deepen your connection, experts say there are things you can do early on to establish an unconditional love. It's not based on the good or bad days you experience in your relationship, nor is it based on what your partner does or doesn't do for you. It certainly doesn't change when you're going through something in your personal life.

Does Unconditional Love Make Healthy Relationships?

When we talk about unconditional love, we sometimes mention how dogs love their owners. This usually ends the talk on unconditional love, which has always bothered me. This may be because I am not a dog and nor do I want to love like a dog. I met my girlfriend in college and we had a lot of conversations about love and our views on it. If I just chose to love her every morning, then in my mind our marriage would last. If you look at society today, everyone gets married or starts a relationship because they fell in love. Relationships fail and divorce becomes an option when the feeling subsides and neither person works on the relationship.

These 20 Quotes Explain Why We Need Unconditional Love So Damn Much

Falling in love is an exciting experience. Every once in a while, we can ask ourselves how we know if our partners love us unconditionally. If you want to make sure that your partner really does love you unconditionally, there are plenty of signs to look for. When you make jokes about growing old together and chasing kids off your lawn, they have a certain look in their eye. Telling them your secrets means that you trust them, which means that they have been trustworthy enough for you to do so.

Love is a complex yet simple emotion and it mirrors who you are inside.

Love is hard to define. Making things even trickier is the concept of unconditional love, which some say is the only true kind of love, while others call it impossible. To believe in unconditional love, and to actually love unconditionally, requires a great deal of thought, action, and faith. Only you can decide if and how you can or should love unconditionally, but the following article will hopefully assist you on that path.

3 Things You Can Do To Show You Love Your Partner Unconditionally

Are you searching for a soulmate or unconditional love? Your quest can set you on an impossible journey to find an ideal partner. The problem is twofold: People and relationships can never achieve perfection. Often unconditional and conditional love are confused.

Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be. Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt it was the other person's job to make you happy, to meet all of your needs, to understand you and know what you want without asking? Or have you been on the other side of this scenario? You were the partner expected to fulfill the other person and manage their happiness. Either situation is perpetually frustrating. One partner never feels happy and content in the relationship because they are looking to the other person to perform the impossible.

6 Signs a Person is Capable of Loving You Unconditionally

Unconditional love — in its most simplest form — means appreciating someone else for who they truly are. It means loving them when they are unlovable, and in spite of their imperfections and mistakes. At a deeper level, it means never, ever questioning whether you'll feel any other way toward a person. It's just a comfortable knowing that this is a constant in your life. It will always just "be. But most of us strive to have those same feelings toward our friends, family and especially our lovers. You want to be a person who helps them achieve their dreams and be there to celebrate with them when they do. And if they don't and their hearts break, you offer to pick up the broken pieces.

I met my girlfriend in college and we had a lot of conversations about love and our views on it. Mine was very simple: “When I wake up in the morning I choose to.

Have you ever found yourself irritated with your spouse — not liking him or her very much — even though you know you love your spouse? Most of us have had those days! No two people can live together for any length of time without once in awhile rubbing each other the wrong way. If you let those feelings of hurt or disappointment take over — your marriage will suffer.

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Comments: 1
  1. Mikakree

    Rather the helpful information

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