How to know your husband has cheated
Of course, if your partner comes home late at night reeking of another person's signature scent, it seems pretty obvious that something is amiss. But often, the signs of cheating are far more subtle. Whether you have a fleeting concern about new behaviors or are seriously worried that your spouse could be having an affair, experts advise these signals you should watch out for. The issue arises if this is suddenly a new thing for your partner. Again, a change in behavior is key here.
30 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is Cheating
Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful can hit you like a ton of bricks. Your marriage may be thrown into a state of crisis that may destroy it.
It is natural to want to know why your partner cheated, but there is rarely a simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in your marriage, it could relate to something in your partner's past, or it could be totally unrelated to you or to your marriage. No matter the cause, you'll have a lot of complicated feelings to sort through, and a lot to think about as you decide how to move forward. These eight tips can help you cope with the aftermath of betrayal:.
Shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion are normal. You will likely feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster for a while. Don't expect the mixture of feelings and the mistrust to go away even if you're trying to forgive your partner and repair your marriage.
Your marriage has changed and it is natural to grieve the relationship you once had. Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage. In your furious state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends or worse, on social media , or think about having an affair yourself to get even. You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions, but ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together.
Think before you tell your family, as well. They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do—leave or stay. But nobody else really understands what goes on in another person's marriage. While you are pondering how you're going to proceed, it's best to keep the details private.
You may have some physical reactions due to stress such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems too little or too much , shakiness, difficulty concentrating, not wanting to eat, or overeating. Once the initial shock has passed, try your best to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, to get some exercise each day, to drink plenty of water, and, yes, to have some fun. Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won't change anything and it's just wasted energy.
Try not to play the victim, either, if you can help it, or wallow in self-pity. It will only make you feel more helpless and bad about yourself. This situation is between you and your partner and should not involve your children. Even if you have decided to end your marriage, sharing details about an affair will only put your kids in an untenable position, causing them anxiety, making them feel stuck in the middle, and forced to take sides.
Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. Before you make any decisions about whether or not to end your marriage, it's wise to talk to a couple's counselor , who will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly happened. An experienced therapist can help you communicate better and process feelings of guilt, shame, and whatever else you might be feeling. If you decide to end the marriage, you 'll know that you tried your best to make it work.
If you suspect that the affair will most likely lead to the end of your marriage, give some thought to practical matters, such as where you will live, if you have enough money to pay for your essentials, and, if you have kids, the type of custody arrangement you want. You may also want to consider asking your partner to be tested for STDs, and to get yourself tested as well if you have had sex during or after the affair.
Infidelity is one of the more difficult challenges a marriage can face, but it doesn't always mean it's the end. As you work through the aftermath over time, it will become clear how to go forward so that the next phase of your life , together or apart, can begin.
Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Emotional processes following disclosure of an extramarital affair. J Marital Fam Ther. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. About Marriage and Family Therapists. More in Relationships.
Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Related Articles. The Different Types of Open Relationships. Should It? Reasons Why Married People Cheat. Are You in a Sexless Marriage?
8 Tips for Coping When Your Partner Is Unfaithful
Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful can hit you like a ton of bricks. Your marriage may be thrown into a state of crisis that may destroy it. It is natural to want to know why your partner cheated, but there is rarely a simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in your marriage, it could relate to something in your partner's past, or it could be totally unrelated to you or to your marriage.
According to research conducted by Boston University sociology professor Deborah Carr, up to 25 percent of married men admitted to sleeping with someone other than their spouse during their marriage. However, it's not just waning attraction that prompts men to be unfaithful—there are countless other reasons men stray. It's important to also recognize that there are some people who cheat because they can. And while infidelity can be a crushing blow in a marriage, there are often indications that can tip you off to your spouse's extramarital affairs. Before you're blindsided by infidelity, brush up on these 30 subtle signs your husband is cheating.
Signs Your Spouse Could Be Cheating
No one will argue that it is incredibly painful to consider the possibility of your husband cheating on you. However, if you have reasons to suspect that he is cheating—or think you do—then it is time to start looking for the signs that he is being unfaithful. The longer you put off dealing with this devastating situation, the worse you will feel if you find out he has not been honest with you. If you want to know if your husband has been cheating on you, then you should look at what he says and does around you, and pay attention to what has changed. If you want to know whether he is cheating, just follow these steps. To find out if your husband is cheating, keep an eye on his phone in case he gets a suspicious message from someone you've never heard of. You can also check his Facebook if he leaves it logged in on a computer. If you're sure he's cheating and want evidence, consider following him in a friend's car to see where he's going. Alternatively, check in on him when he's working late or watching the game at a friend's house to catch him lying to you. When you've spotted signs that convince you he's cheating, ask him if he's been cheating on you to see how he reacts.
Signs of a Cheating Husband
Suspicions of a cheating husband can leave you with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You feel that something is just not right, but you really can't put your finger on anything specific. While it's a common saying that "if you suspect he's cheating, he probably is", having something more solid to go on helps. The following information can give you clues that your spouse may be straying, as well as tips on how to proceed.
12 Surprising Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating
.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Signs Your Husband is In Love with Another Woman - Sign of a Cheating Husband