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Criticism is futile because it puts us on the defensive and usually makes us strive to justify ourselves. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds our pride, hurts our sense of importance, and arouses resentment. Rather than condemn others, try to understand them. Try to figure out why they do what they do. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary by 2000 Books - Dale Carnegie

What Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Can Teach the Modern Worker

If you asked me for just one book that you should read this year, this would be my recommendation. Its timeless wisdom will change your life. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life. Neither of those statements entails manipulative shortcuts. As for the second: If you feel uncomfortable reading books on self-improvement, I hear you.

If you are satisfied with the results you are now getting, why change? If you are not satisfied, why not experiment? Resolve now to test the concepts as an exercise in lateral thinking. Carnegie ran his popular self-improvement programs for decades with participants from every conceivable walk of life. His book is full of their stories. Stories about how they applied these principles. Stories about the huge changes they made in their own lives.

Reinventing the wheel is an extremely difficult and masochistic pastime. You may remember these wise words from Seneca: tutor to Roman emperors and at one time one of the wealthiest men alive:. Read this book. Learn from it. Keep it handy. Refer back to it often I wish I had followed this advice more faithfully. It will make you a better person. It will improve your life. Most importantly, it will improve the lives of the people you love and the people you meet each day.

Empathise and forgive. Do not measure others by the standards you set for yourself. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Instead, make your appreciation heartfelt, sincere and unselfish. Flattery is easily detected and universally condemned. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Make a note of them in your calendar. Take the time each year to send a physical card. This kind of thoughtfulness costs very little but has a huge impact.

We know it is mechanical and we resent it. Fake it until you make it. Force yourself to smile and the mind will often follow. Pay attention. Spell it out if need be. Repeat it several times. Build a mental picture. Write it down. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Nothing else is so flattering as that. Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely. Instead try to: Welcome the disagreement: This might be an opportunity to avoid a serious mistake. Watch out for and distrust your first instinct to be defensive.

Control your temper. Listen first. Look first for areas of agreement. Be honest about and apologise for your mistakes. Thank the other person sincerely for their time and interest. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.

I frequently am. Let the other person take the role of a collaborative and benevolent forgiver rather than an opponent. Begin in a friendly way. Friendliness begets friendliness. Glow with it. Overflow with it. This will help things get off on a collaborative foot. They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask the questions.

Consult with them, collaborate on and influence a half finished idea rather than presenting a final solution. If you can, sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do. It will help you be more sympathetic with those of others. Appeal to the nobler motives. Dramatise your ideas. Present your ideas in an interesting, creative and dramatic way that captures attention. Think laterally; how can you present tabular data in a creative way that encourages interaction and engages more of the senses than just sight?

Throw down a challenge. I do not mean in a sordid money-getting way, but in the desire to excel. Instead the work itself must be motivating and exciting. Make performance metrics public. Let people enjoy a challenge. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win. Carnegie illustrates them with some superb examples that are well worth reading in full.

My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal. After dinner, I went off by myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week. I asked myself: What mistakes did I make that time? What did I do that was right — and in what way could I have improved my performance?

What lessons can I learn from that experience? We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices nd motivated by pride and vanity. Remember, there is no other way. Health and the preservation of life.

Money and the things money will buy. Life in the hereafter. Sexual gratification. The well-being of our children. A feeling of importance. That determines your character. There is nothing that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticise anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.

That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out.

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First published in , Carnegie's advice has remained relevant for generations because he addresses timeless questions about the fine art of getting along with people: How can you make people like you instantly? How can you persuade people to agree with you? How can you speak frankly to people without giving offense?

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

With over 15 million copies sold, and with a very self-explanatory title, I think you all get it. For the rare person who may not know what this book is about, here's a succinct description: in s vernacular prose, Dale Carnegie explains that by appealing to the other person's highest ideals, remembering the other person's name, letting the other person do most of the talking, speaking in terms of the other person's interests, allowing the other to save face, by "throwing down a challenge," etc. The advice is largely sound, but I think the reader should keep in mind the context within which this book was written. In other words, these techniques work very well in the context of sales and public relations, i. I wouldn't recommend using these techniques on close personal friends. Doing so may make a person come across as a bit "plastic. This book reveals many interesting things, such as the fact that Dale Carnegie grew up poor; he lost part of his left index finger when he was a child; he often broke many of the tenets set forth in this book, often forgetting others' names, often arguing with others, etc. But what I found most interesting was that the last chapter of "How to Win Friends" was to describe those individuals with whom none of Dale Carnegie's techniques work. In this unpublished chapter, Carnegie wrote that there were some people with whom it was impossible to get along. You either needed to divorce such people, "knock them down," or sue them in court.

Book Summary: “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie

If you asked me for just one book that you should read this year, this would be my recommendation. Its timeless wisdom will change your life. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life. Neither of those statements entails manipulative shortcuts.

The most famous confidence-boosting book ever published; with sales of over 16 million copies worldwide.

Last updated on March 12, These are the best books on how to make friends or improve your friendships ranked and reviewed for It does a good job extracting down social interaction to a set of rules that make us more likable. This is NOT an affiliate link.

How to Win Friends and Influence People [Book Summary]

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic.

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The Best Summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People

Even the infamous exude self-approval. When Crowley was captured, Police Commissioner E. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperado was one of the most dangerous criminals ever encountered in the history of New York. Crowley was sentenced to the electric chair. If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism-no matter how certain we are that it is justified. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Sep 30, - The most famous confidence-boosting book ever published; with sales of over 16 million copies worldwide Millions of people around the world.

Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. Carnegie had been conducting business education courses in New York since The initial five thousand copies [3] of the book sold exceptionally well, going through 17 editions in its first year alone. In , a revised edition containing updated language and anecdotes was released. The book has six major sections.

21 Best Books on How to Make Friends Ranked and Reviewed

The courses usually cost fifteen hundred dollars or more, but the schools regularly host free sessions for prospective students. On a recent Monday evening, I decided to go to one. When I arrived, two women in dark suits cheerfully handed me a name tag.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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How To Win Friends And Influence People: The Only Book You Need to Lead You to Success

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